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Reviews for February 9th, 2018

Fifty Shades Freed

Directed by James Foley




      Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) marries Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), but their marriage gets put to the test once they move in together. She refuses to change her email address at work to reflect her new last name, Grey. Not surprisingly, Christian feels offended and confronts her immediately when discovers that. She confronts a woman who dares to flirt with him. Tensions escalate when Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson), her ex-boss, shows up at her home and assaults her in an attempt to kidnap her.

      The Fifty Shades series finally comes to an end with Fifty Shades Freed. That along with the costume and slick set designs are the the only positive aspects of this lazy, vapid, unsexy, mind-numbing and poorly edited mess of a film. Not a single moment or line of dialogue throughout Niall Leonard's tone-deaf screenplay rings true. Perhaps the biggest sin, though, is that Johnson and Dornan have zero palpable chemistry even during the awfully-shot sex scenes. Everything falls flat from the romance to the drama and the third act's action scenes. At least the last 2 films in the series had plenty of bad laughs to hold your attention, but this one only has a few unintentionally funny scenes, i.e. when Christian suddenly plays the piano.

      If you're looking for an ideal date or girls' night out movie, you'll end up sorely disappointed because Fifty Shades Freed leaves you feeling nothing but relieved that the series is officially over. There are even better films that went directly to VOD. Even the underrated erotic drama Scorned starring Shannon Tweed offers more entertainment value and sexiness combined than any of the Fifty Shades films combined. Fifty Shades Freer is ultimately a reminder of how far we've come from the Golden Age of American Cinema. The fact that it's so popular is a testament to the fact that we're living in the Age of Stupidity and Shallowness. It deserves all the Razzie nominations that it will surely receive.

Number of times I checked my watch: 7
Released by Universal Pictures.
Opens nationwide.

Peter Rabbit

Directed by Will Gluck




     

Number of times I checked my watch: 4
Released by Columbia Pictures.
Opens nationwide.
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