They Will Kill You. Little does she know that the superintendent, Lilith (Patricia Arquette) and residents, Sharon (Heather Graham) and Kevin (Tom Felton), harbord a dark secret. Writer/director Kirill Sokolov and co-writer Alex Litvak have made a bonkers, action-packed sci-fi horror comedy that's uninspired, exhausting, tedious and runs out of ideas very early. It's best watching the movie cold to not spoil the major plot twist that arrives within the first 30 minutes. That twist comes with tones that try hard to be campy and Tarantino-esque with mixed results. The biggest laugh comes from an eyeball which won't be spoiled here. The rest of the attempts at dark humor during the many action sequences don't quite stick the landing because they're repetitive.
      Sokolov and Litvak go full throttle with the over-the-top, stylized violence and gore without leaving much to the imagination. The images of blood squirting everywhere is yet another nod to Tarantino. It's too bad that the dialogue lacks the witty banter or memorable characters found in Tarantino's iconic films like Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction. So, the filmmakers know where to take their ideas from without knowing what to do with those ideas or how to take them anywhere interesting. It's yet another B-movie that would probably work better as a video game. That said, it does have a clever title card drop. At a running time of 1 hour and 34 minutes, They Will Kill You opens nationwide via Warner Bros Pictures.
Number of times I checked my watch: 3
      Judy (Marisa Tomei), a psychology professor, and her friend, Diane (Sherry Cola), stalks Theo (Marco Pigossi), the fiancé of her daughter, Eva (Ciara Bravo), because she believes that he's a narcissist in You're Dating a Narcissist!. Writer/director Ann Marie Allison and screenwriter Jenna Milly have made a breezy and amusing, but sitcom-ish and contrived romcom. It suffers from a systemic issue that it doesn't recover from: Judy exhibits signs of narcissism because she's controlling, lacks boundaries, and has no shame in stalking her daughter's fiancé while jumping quickly to the conclusion that he's a narcissist.
      Could Judy be projecting? It's very possible that it's a case of the pot calling the kettle black. That would've been acceptable if the film were to address that issue honestly, but it gets Judy off too easily while the rocky relationship with her daughter gets patched up in a way that feels contrived and unconvincing. How introspective is she? Does she realize that she's overbearing? Does she not realize that she's crossing yet another boundary by bringing up an intimate part of her daughter's sex life with Theo? That's hard to tell because the screenplay is more interested in playing for laughs than in delving into any of the characters' heart, mind and soul. Eva even has the courage to indignantly stand up to her mother by telling her that she shouldn't be stalking Theo, but does Judy learn her lesson? It doesn't seem like she does. Imagine a less funny and witty Hallmark version of Father of the Bride except with a mother in the controlling role instead of the father and you'll get a sense of what it's like to watch You're Dating a NarcissistZ!. At a running time of 1 hour and 31 minutes, You're Dating a Narcissist!< opens at Quad Cinema via Brainstorm Media.
Number of times I checked my watch: 2