Release Date: August 11th, 2006 (Cinema Village) by Warner Brothers Pictures.
The Cast: Lewis Black, Wilmer Valderrama, Tyler James Williams, Dylan Christopher, Brett Kelly, Gina Mantegna, Quinn Shephard, Paget Brewster, Rob Corddry, Dominique Saldana, Jessica Walter, Tony Hale, Rob Riggle, Michelle Sandler, David Koechner, B.J. Novak, Mindy Kaling.
Directed by Paul Feig.
BASIC PREMISE: A group of unaccompanied minors run amok through an airport during snowstorm on Christmas Eve.
ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: Unaccompanied Minors doesn’t have a single laugh or exciting scene, even if you suspend your disbelief. At least all of the kids have one common trait: they’re annoying. While they all goof off throughout the airport, the airport manager, played by Lewis Black in an unfunny performance, chases them. The employee (Valderrama) assigned to taking care of the kids, for some reason, helps the kids avoid the manager. With a smarter script by co-writers Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark, this could have been a laugh riot. However, they dumb down the plot with awfully stilted, silly dialogue and some unnecessarily toilet humor. Moreover, every character feels more irritating than anything else, especially the little kids. Teri Garr has a cameo where she wears a fat suit, most likely to save herself from the embarrassment of being recognized—which didn’t work, in this case. Ultimately, there aren’t any redeeming qualities to make this even a mildly entertaining film.
SPIRITUAL VALUE: Unfortunately, none.
INSULT TO YOUR INTELLIGENCE: None, as long as you check your brain at the door.
NUMBER OF TIMES I CHECKED MY WATCH: 22
IN A NUTSHELL: Painfully unfunny, annoying, ugly and unoriginal.
RECOMMENDED WAY TO WATCH: Never.
The "U" Menu